0:37 D: "Why are you talking about penises 30 seconds into this video?" It's called a hook, Dan.
1:30 Phil says "I'm more of a sausage in the evening kind of guy."
1:40 Dan's response: "fuCK."
2:15 Impressions of Tom Holland with a frog in his mouth. Dan says they're jealous because Tom Holland is so beautiful.
2:25 Dan, to his virtual grandchild: "Gobble your sausages."
2:54 They discover a lizard.
2:58 They cannot interact with the lizard.
3:05 Phil wants to crossbreed the lizard with a frog. Dan wants to lick the lizard.
3:25 Phil does hand claws at the camera.
3:50 Phil whines because Dan teased him before he was finished reading.
4:10 D: "Have you ever been aroused by your own ability to prepare for an adventure?" P: "Hell yes."
5:56 Dan has a minor freak-out over which Sim to follow with the camera.
6:24 They lose Evan.
6:30 They find Evan. everything's fine it's totally fine they weren't freaking out at all
7:15 Phil thinks Evan taking a selfie is embarrassing. Dan thinks it's worth it for Instagram.
7:30 Dan expresses concern for Devan fans while Evan considers passing through an interdimensional vortex.
8:30 "Bone dusting" is now a thing.
9:20 They attempt to come up with a pick-up line relevant to temples. They do not succeed.
10:05 Phil's first kiss was behind a high school locker. He banged his teeth against hers and it was horrible.
10:55 Dan's advice to young people watching: "If you end up having a Phil experience, don't feel bad."
11:40 Phil gets excited because puzzles.
12:04: P "Yeet!" D: "Yeet!"
12:12 Phil thinks the statue liked watching the boys kiss. Dan comments that he is not going to comment on that.
12:50 Phil suggests complaining to the manager ancient statue about the bone dusting incident.
13:40 A skeleton has been discovered. Phil wants to interact with it. Dan judges him.
13:55 They interact with it.
14:17 Phil, master of breeding things, wants to make a baby with a skeleton.
14:25 Phil reveals their next story-line: "Dalien slash Skeleton alien hybrid."
14:38 They invite the skeleton to hang out.
14:50 Another skeleton has been discovered. Phil thinks it is the first skeleton's jealous wife.
15:05 Dan approves of the dancing skeleton. Phil tries to mimic her dance move by slapping his arm. It doesn't really work but he tried.
15:42 P: "Have a chew on Matt Bellamy's face."
16:28 Puzzle solving montage.
17:10 Phil expresses excitement by slapping Dan.
17:20 Dan refers to both Evan and the skeleton as Dab's friends. Is Dab/Skeleton on the horizon?
17:30 dnp high-five.
17:47 They are more excited by the simoleons they find than the kiss they planned the episode around.
18:06 Next episode is going to be a shopping spree.
18:38 Phil, when Evan walks in on Dab showering: "That's not how he wanted to see the butt."
19:00 Dan thinks if a teenager missed half a day of school but showed up with $16,000 their parents would approve. I think that Dan is not ready to raise teenagers.