watsonian wrote: Sun May 20, 2018 3:09 am
Objectively 100% the most important timestamps of the video:
0:13 Phil tries to touch Dan's hair.
0:13 Dan dodges.
0:14 Phil tries to touch Dan's hair.
0:14 Dan dodges.
0:15 Phil tries to touch Dan's hair.
0:15 Dan dodges.
[An interlude to discuss hats.]
0:28 Phil tries to touch Dan's hair.
0:28 Dan dodges.
0:29 Phil, still trying to touch Dan's hair: "I want to touch that."
0:30 Dan lets Phil touch his hair.

The content I signed up for, all in the first 30 seconds. That's efficiency, people.

Less important things that happened:
3:23 Dan punches Phil's shoulder and chest a few times and gets away with it. Mostly entertaining because you know if Phil did that Dan would be THAT HURT YOU HURT ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
3:35 If Dan wins, Phil is going to call the police and the army and his mum. It is decided that Kathryn would take Phil's side in the post-golf divorce.
5:50 Phil claims that Young Phil spent all his time designing mini-golf courses. Where is Phil getting his headcanon from?
6:00 logsmack.com
7:28 They set up a joke to say 'Please sir, can I have some cock?' and then don't go through with it. Rude.
7:40 Dan visits a lovely beach.
9:14 Dan does his impression of a llama.
10:12 Someone needs to do something for the Scalies. Dan and Phil do a lot for the Furries but nothing for the Scalies.
10:55 Timothy is in attendance.
11:04 Dinosaur-bird weird-nerds fight.
11:55 Dan says "dainty." Phil says "Feel that daint." I'm leaving.
12:24 danisnotscreaming
13:32 Dolores is in attendance.
13:58 Krampus is in attendance.
14:00 Dan complains loudly about something. Possibly that Phil is taking a turn instead of watching Dan. Watch me dad.
15:07 The golf balls bump together so Dan bumps Phil.
15:58 Phil sings "And they called it golfy love."
16:09 D: "I am queen of the universe." P: "Same."
16:58 D: "The gap has widened like Phil pushed an egg out." I would leave but I already left 4 minutes ago.
17:35 The competition is put on hiatus while Phil does an impressive thing. Dan forgoes the usual pausing-and-taking-turns rule so Phil can take two turns to do the thing. They are both very impressed with the thing Phil does.
18:35 Dan wants to hang out. Phil wants Dan out of his life.
19:16 They really like slides. Also there's a prolonged innuendo which ends with Dan repeating ride it ride it rideitrideitrideit.
20:00 Dan spits on his hand and then sings about it. Also probably an innuendo.
20:14 Dan tilts his head because he wants to bop hats. Phil is fluent in Dan's head tilts and bops their hats together.
20:46 Dan is bothered because Phil is not adequately watching him lose.
22:20 Phil's arm gets in the way of Dan's slow collapse onto the desk, making it more awkward and more adorable than anticipated.