itasca00 wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 6:38 am I was kinda disappointed that we didn’t get a liveshow today, but, boy, do Dan and Phil know how to make it up to me! But now imagine if we had gotten 24 back-to-back games like this and golf... My highlights are below. There's a lot to unpack in this video, so I've included a bunch of extended quotes.

• [0:00] Again, the tone of the video has been set quite well.

  P: Hello, DanAndPhilGAMES--
  D: Badum badum--
  P: --dream boats.
  D: --throbbers, and--
  P; You can’t call them throbbers. That--That must be the fastest demonetization that we ever got!

• [0:13] Dan comments that Phil’s got his guns out. Phil says that he’s got his guns out for the lads, which is especially appropriate for the game that they’re playing.
• [0:25] Nice scare quotes, Danny.

  D: Today we are playing--
  D&P: Heartthrob:
  D: The dream game for “girls.”

• [0:32] Phil says that he and Dan were introduced to this game by their friend Bryony. All I can say is: Thank you, Bryony!
• [1:20] Dan imitates the girl on the box. This is not the last time.
• [2:28] All I'm getting from this is that Phil's saying that Dan's into water sports.

  D: So, as we said, we’ve got the personality cards.
  P: Ooh.
  D: Uh, what do we have there?
  P: Like "Nicknamed 'Whiz Kid.'"
  D: Right. Don’t wanna know what he whizzed on to do that.
  P: And "Fast food freak." That person might have my heart.
  D: Don’t attack me. I’m a fast food freak. And this one here: "Has to be the center of attention."
  P: Are they all just written about you?

• [3:01] So it seems that Dan's pretty easily hot and bothered by a nice set of arms.

  D: Wait, is that Gary from the front? Okay.
  P: Oh, wow. I’m seeing a whole new side of him and his mullet.
  D: Hello. Yes, and that--The--The side is the arms. That’s what we’re seeing there. He has got a whole vein situation going on there.
  P: He does. That’s throbbing.
  D: So I’m actually intimidated by this. I don’t know why.
  P: His--His expression is like, I might punch you in a second.
  D: Just...something. This whole energy scares me.

• [3:19] "Sax master." Nice.

  D: Hello, Simon!
  P: Oh, he’s got his--
  D: The sax master has arrived.
  P: --sax out.
  D: Toot, toot. Hello.
  P: He’s a jazz man.

• [3:27] Dan comments that he thinks all of the models look like they’re 33. Phil agrees and comments that Simon is like one of his dad’s friends. You’re almost 32, Philip.
• [4:10] Dan and Phil are disappointed that they only have white potential boyfriends to choose from.
• [4:32] Dan was totally going to say, “Okay, you just ruined it.” You can't convince me otherwise.

  P: He’s got some guns!
  D: He--That--There is a lot going on here.
  P: Yeah.
  D: I mean, Bobby works out. Sure. Fine.
  P: But he cares about grooming. It’s like he’s presenting his armpit to the camera like, Aw, come on, Jenny. Have a sniff.
  D: It’s a look. Okay, you just--
  P: It is.
  D: You’re continuing to drive this darker.

• [4:52] Adorable, sense of humor, and kinky. What more could Dan want?

  P: Look at that with the sexy glasses in the mouth!
  D: Oh, my God. I’ve--I--
  P: He’s like, Hey.
  D: I really don’t know what to make of this.
  P: Want to come back to the library with me? I think he looks a bit creepy. I think he wants to murder me.
  D: Really? No, I’m not getting that. I--I think he’s kind of adorable with a sense of humor.
  P: He’s got some--
  D: First impressions.
  P: --weird kinks hiding--
  D: Alright.
  P: --underneath those knit wares.

• [5:27] Phil, you really can't be throwing shade if you also own one of those pickles...

  P: I think this guy’s mysterious. I think he’s got some dark secrets. Something hiding--
  D: Yeah, I--I’m gonna say: Absolute potential serial killer.
  P: Something under his bed we are not seeing.
  D: Alright, well, Phil--
  P: He’s got a few yodeling pickles down there.

• [6:07] Yeah, I don't think school officials are going to like hands on the boobs any better than hands on the butt, there, Dan.

  D: We got to play the game how they’re imagining. They--They’re not like, “Hey, do you wanna do some Fortnight dances with me?”
  P: No.
  D: No, this is like a--a grind.
  P: A grind?
  D: Yeah, this is Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke--
  P: We weren’t allowed to grind at my school.
  D: --in the middle of the school. No, no. This’s slow dance. Just a--
  P: Slow dance!
  D: --hand on the side.
  P: Yeah.
  D: Not down there! Up here. Slow dance.

• [6:24] Phil tells a story of him slow dancing at his prom. It was very embarrassing. He had a very wide stance, and someone took a picture of it. But it was all good because he got to ride in a limo.
• [6:55] A gentle soul who treats everything like a joke? Now, who does that sounds like?

  D: I think you want to go for the person who maybe doesn’t take themself too seriously--
  P: Yeah.
  D: --and will treat you gently.
  P: Gently?
  D: I think you chose Richard.
  P: I did choose Richard! He was the only one with a bit of cheeky smile, so I thought he might be a bit of fun.

• [7:08] Again, Dan is easily hot and bothered by some arms...

  P: I think--
  D: Yeah. Why did you make this decision?
  P: I made this decision because--I don’t--
  D: What? I’m--I’m literally ready to be offended right now. Come on.
  P: I thought you’d want to dance with Bobby.
  D: Why?
  P: Because he’s the one that likes to groom himself, and he probably, like, has nice fashion.
  D: Wait, wait, wait a--Oh.
  P: You thought thinking he might have a good suit.
  D: There’s some kind of compliment there.
  P: Yeah.
  D: I dunno. Um...I chose Mick.
  P: Why?! Why would you choose Mick?!
  D: Bobby...are you frickin’ serious?
  P: Yeah.
  D: I feel like he would somehow hurt me, or--
  P: Oh, by crushing you too hard with his--his huge arms?
  D: --I’m just scared of him. I don’t wanna--I just--Wh--I don’t know much about Mick yet.
  P: Right.
  D: He seems kinda low-key. I think--
  P: He looks like he would breathe down your neck really heavily.
  D: Stop ruinin’ Mick. Okay? I’m just--
  P: Fine. I don’t get a point.
  D: Bobby scared me. Richard also scared me. So there we go.

• [7:56] Of all the references I thought I might get in this video, Granny was certainly not one of them.

  D: The next scenario is: Will you go to a party with me on Saturday night?
  P: Ooh. That’s a bit less formal than a slow dance.
  D: Uh, but it’s more of a time commitment--
  P: I’m less worried.
  D: It’s--Ye--This is talking.
  P: This is an evening--
  D: This is hangin’ out.
  P: --with the person.
  D: This is socializing with other people, and, you know, the night leads somewhere, or maybe it doesn’t.
  P: Okay.
  D: So--
  P: Sure.
  D: --a nice PG peck on the cheek...with your grandma looking in the doorstep.
  *A horrible image of the grandmother from Granny rises from behind the couch.*

• [8:53] What does that even mean, Dan?

  D: He’s a band kid. That really…
  P: This one time, at band camp--
  D: Honestly--
  P: What’d you do with the tuba?
  D: --lookin’ at him nibble on those glasses, I think Richard has a good time at band camp.

• [10:23] Dan can totally handle a superficial relationship.

  D: Right. You guess me first.
  P: Dan, I think--
  D: Why did you make this decision?
  P: I made this decision slightly based on your reactions to these cards.
  D: Alright. Okay. How well do you know me, Phil? Let’s find out.
  P: I think you’ve chosen Richard.
  D: Ooh. I chose Bobby!
  P: What?!
  D: That is right.
  P: Why?
  D: ‘Cause he’s rich, and he wants to be a secret agent! From a party-going perspective, that means he’s probably got a massive house--
  P: I--
  D: --which would be for a good party.
  P: Uhh.
  D: I don’t have to like him--
  P: I’m rubbish at this.
  D: --or think that he’s an ethically lovely person.
  P: Yeah.
  D: But he probably has a pool. And then also, he wants to be a secret agent. What the hell does that mean at a party? I dunno. I’m interested.

• [10:59] I like how Dan made Phil give a big, long answer about why he chose who he did for Dan, but Dan thinks he only needs to give a one sentence response when it's his turn to explain his choice.

  D: I think that your answer--I’m gonna be strategic here ‘cause I think you’re being strategic and weird.
  P: I--I’m not. I’m not being weird!
  D: This is a game, people.
  P: I’m not tryin’ to snek you.
  D: I think Richard is the match for you.
  P: Yeah.
  D: But I think, for some weird reason, you chose Mick.
  P: I did choose Mick! How did you know?
  D: ‘Cause that’s just what you’re like.
  P: I’m--I’m not trying to snek it.
  D: Explain yourself!
  P: Anyone that’s in a band at a party is gonna go straight to play the instrument at the party’s band.
  D: “Hey, babe. Wanna see my tuba?”
  P: Yeah.
  D: *tuba noise*
  P: He’ll get his tuba out and then join his band mates.
  D: For the lads.
  P: But I wanna know why Mick is nicknamed “The Lemon.” So I could go with him to the party, and that’s a good conversation piece.
  D: That is a big risk.
  P: “So I hear you’re called ‘The Lemon.’”
  D: You--You are--That--Okay. You are a brave man.
  P: I’m not saying--I’m not saying we’re gonna go on a date, but it’s more just like: I wanna chat about why you’re called “The Lemon.”

• [12:28] It’s revealed that Bobby wants to spend his holidays at a nudist camp. Dan’s first response is, “Look, he works out.” Phil thinks it’s weird that it’s not a beach, but Dan doesn’t want to shut this idea down. He says that maybe it’s by a lake, and he says it would be a good way to get a good all-around tan. Dan is totally into this idea.
• [12:44] This is an awfully strange conversation.

  D: “Enjoys imitating the mating calls of wild animals.”
  P: I think Richard might be a furry.
  D: A nineties furry.
  P: Yeah, one of the first ones.
  D: What did they do--What did they do?
  P: I think they just skin all their teddy bears and then stick them to their bodies.
  D: You know there’s, like, 100,000 furries watching this--
  P: I know there are!
  D: --and you just offended them.
  P: I know you’re relevant.
  D: You just said--
  P: I’m just saying back in the day I didn’t know--
  D: Oh, they’re relevant. Are they? Okay.
  P: I didn’t know--
  D The furry fandom: They need to have a problem with AmazingPhil right now.
  P: I didn’t know if there was fursuits back then.
  D: Okay. Right. Sure. Fine.

• [13:18] We get it, Dan. You're the special "girl."

  P: Next one about Bobby--
  D: Yep.
  P: He has never been kissed. I wouldn’t have thought that!
  D: That is a game changer!
  P: That--That’s a plot twist.
  D: That is a ga--Suddenly--
  P: It’s all bravado.
  D: --this is done. And really he’s soft and tender, and he’s just putting it all on ‘cause he’s just vulnerable. And maybe--
  P: He’s just a little Jaffa Cake.
  D: --he’s saving himself for that special girl. *recreates the pose of the girl on the box*

• [14:18] Again, Dan escaped having to give any explanation about why he chose Richard for Phil.

  D: Hardest decision I’ve ever made.
  P: I’m just straight in there with my answers.
  D: Phil.
  P: Who am I gonna date?
  D: I think that you chose to date Richard.
  P: Yes, I did. I mean, he’s very much--apart from the musician--I like magic. I like animals. I do make random animal--
  D: No, no, no. No. Y--You like imitating animal mating calls.
  P: Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
  D: You did that a lot on the radio. Okay.
  P: And also I do trip over my own feet all the time, so I think we’d be a match made in...probably death.
  D: Band camp. I see that happening.

• [14:46] There's...a lot here.

  P: Dan, I think you were moved by the fact that Bobby’s never been kissed ‘cause you chose Bobby!
  D: I chose Bobby!
  P: Yes!
  D: Right, okay. No, no. But not just that. Explain to me--I want you to show everybody how you think you understand me.
  P: Fine.
  D: Why did I choose Bobby?
  P: Okay. First of all: He’s got a nice car. He can take you on some nice dates. Secondly, he wants to be a secret agent. That’s something you can chat about. Like, what’s the mystery? What are we solving? Are we going on an adventure?
  D: Right. And you think I’d like that. Okay. Yep.
  P: Thirdly, nudist. You’ve got, like, weird, furry stuff going on. You might enjoy a bit of nudism. I don’t know. Never been kissed: That’s like a movie. That’s like: I’m in a movie.
  D: Yeah. You were wrong at every single point there. I am so offended by everything you just said. No.
  P: What?
  D: That’s not the--The reason I like Bobby is because--
  P: ‘Cause of the guns?
  D: Look, you’re a t--No. You’re--Mayb--Okay. You’re a teenager.
  P: Yeah.
  D: You’re not choosing your husband for life.
  P: You’re going on a date.
  D: This is the time when you make mistakes.
  P: So you’re choosing a mistake?
  D: You have experiences. You just need to--Look. Bobby seems like maybe someone that you can heal. He seems like there’s a lot of--
  P: Like a project?
  D: There’s--Yeah.
  P: Wow.
  D: Yeah.
  P: Sure.
  D: He needs me more than Richard!
  P: Alright.
  D: Richard’s got his tuba! He’s got his magic. Bobby’s got nothing other than a fragile self-esteem and amazing biceps.
  P: Okay.

• [16:26] This is a video I would pay to see.

  P: I’ve played this with my brother before. I’m not sure about my granddad, but maybe we could get him in on it. You know? That’s weird. That’s weird.
  D: You are not editing that out!
  P: He’s 92.

• [16:42] Fun fact: In the video description, it also says that we “can bet” that Dan would pre-order the “inclusive 2018 version with furries.”

  D: I feel like they should update it with, like, an inclusive 2018 version.
  P: Yes.
  D: And, you know, we can still judge people by their looks and then get to know them, and we could all have a lot of fun.
  P: That would be great.

• All is well with the individual merch links...for now.