:37 - Brown or black? (It looks black to me.)
1:00 - Warning from Dan not to judge them based on the answers.
1:19 - Illegal firearm question; Phil immediately spins a scenario around the question instead of just answering it.
2:37 - "We don't have pet, stop rubbing it in, game."
2:43 - Phil turns the question from a vague 'other people' into it being a scenario where Dan has to save him or a kitten. Lots of looking at Dan and not at the screen.
2:55 - "Because the internet is watching, I have to say I'd save everybody but me." Dan says through clenched teeth, returning the phrasing back to the vague not-Phil setup.
3:18 - What would Phil do if he could stop time? "I'd draw on everyone's faces. That's always where my mind goes with that one."
3:31 - Phil got about five hours of sleep the night before.
3:36 - Phil asks Dan "What is a pervy stuff?" and gets a Look in return.
3:47 - Phil laughing when Dan says "As long as you don't leave a trace."
3:48 - Turns out Phil was thinking about going into locker rooms. Hard on the gender neutral now and throughout the whole video.
3:56 - Dan cuts him off on grounds of Phil incriminating himself.
4:22 - Dan confirming Phil would pick the 'pervy stuff' option while Phil says out loud he'd pick the third one.
4:40 - Phil making 'do pervy stuff' an option for Dan's next question. He was very amused by that, apparently?
5:02 - Sewer question. Would Phil lick peanut butter off a hobo's foot? Again gender neutral, not that I'm sure it matters for this question. I kept expecting some kind of innuendo about foot licking but they kept it tame.
5:47 - Question about best friend passing away and being friends with their twins instead.
6:08 - Phil shaking Dan slightly.
6:31 - "Is that your next book?"
6:45 - Question about shitting.
7:04 - Phil gives an elaborate situation as a response again.
7:41 - "Daniel Trump" - Dan would bring chaos to the people but would like to think he'd run the country for the greater good.
8:02 - "Phillu" "Yassu"
8:18 - Phil would curl up in a ball and cry if he got put inside the ring during a fight.
8:35 - If Dan became a spider he would live a spider life. I mean, who doesn't want to be spider.
9:03 - Crawling on people and exploring the world sounds like crawling on their bodies, according to Dan.
9:30 - Dan points out you can explore the world as a human. My bank account disagrees, but okay.
9:48 - Question about space. Dan reads them backwards for optimal question reading climax material.
10:04 - Phil doesn't believe 'have an orgasm' is a potential answer and checks for himself.
10:11 - Phil is sure people have done that before.
10:14 - "Hundred percent."
10:21 - They're still thinking about it. I'm guessing they revisited that conversation later.
10:40 - What would Dan do if he became a god?
11:03 - Dan would incinerate the world.
11:05 - Phil: "What? You're gonna incinerate me?"
11:20 - Monkey question. Oh buddy.
11:27 - "Have sex with the monkey once a month." Followed by immediate strong 'no' from Phil on having sex with the monkey once a month.
11:31 - "Have a loving, intimate non-sexual relationship"
Phil: Yes.
Dan: Spooning and kissing.
Phil: I would spoon a monkey for sure.
Dan: Kiss? Marry?
Phil: (stuttering) Ki- Ma- Kiss- I didn't say kiss.
Dan: That's non-sexual. It could be like a friendly kiss. Romantic one.
11:52 - "Marry it and become like any married couple" Dan immediately relates married to less happy than the non-sexual relationship or the monthly sexual one, and also infers that if you pick a loving but non-sexual relationship there won't be anyone else in your life.
Dan: "That could have a lot of drama and tears. You'd fight, non-aggressively. Or you- you couldn't have anyone else in your life if you had this relationshp. Or just once a month, spank the monkey. But then you get to live a normal life."
12:10 - Phil starts to try and cut Dan off in a very frustrated, slightly belligerant way. Dan continues pushing Phil to pick the sex once a month one.
12:26 - "I would spoon the monkey and watch some Game of Thrones and then go to bed in separate beds."
12:40 - "No monkey sex." Firm response from Phil.